24 words - Providence

This is the fourth of 24 blog posts each day in June as part of a challenge to honour my sister Anna Murray who died on 20th October 2019. You can read my reflections on my sister here and watch a film I made about her here. If you want to donate to Pancreatic Cancer UK you can do so here. These posts will be short 'thoughts' rather than detailed blog posts.

'Providence is the marvellous working of God by which all the events and happenings in the universe accomplish the purpose He has in mind.'  

John J Murray, Behind a Frowning Providence

Over the years many people have spoken to me about how helpful they have found my late fathers little booklet 'Behind a Frowning Providence'.  It is incredible to think that since it was published in 1990 is has been reprinted 6 times and 70,200 copies are now in circulation.  It has been translated in to 17 other languages: Amharic (Ethiopia), Arabic, Bugis (Indonesia), Burmese, Chinese, Farsi, French, Hungarian, Indonesian (Bahasa), Javanese, Makassarese (Indonesia), Nuer, Oromo (Ethiopia), Somali, Spanish, Sudanese and Toraja (Indonesia).  In many ways my Dad's booklet is an example of providence.  It was written for a conference talk my dad gave in 1989 but it was many years in the making.

I'll never forget the day in December 1980 when my Head Teacher came in to my primary 4 classroom in Rockfield Primary Oban and whispered something in in my teachers ear.  She looked at me and then she looked at the class.  Although I can't remember, class mates have since told me that we played some sort of game and then to my utter surprise and joy I was allowed to go home early!  I sprinted up the little brae to the manse and burst through the door with all the energy of an eight year old. The house was full of loud sobbing.  My dad was crying, which was very unusual.  He took me into the living room and explained that my 13 year old sister had just died.  I don't remember much about the next few days but do vividly remember the funeral and the grave.  I particularity remember the comforting smile of my best friends dad as our family filed out of the church bewildered at the providence that had overwhelmed our family.  Dad was two years in to his first charge and I am amazed at how he continued with preaching and pastoring after such a massive shock.  I now know as a father of five boys what he must have been experiencing but he was an example of patient suffering as I watched him over the years.

As I look back over 40 years I see God's guiding hand in our lives as a family.  As Job said: 'He will certainly accomplish what he has decreed for me...'  This doesn't make death easy but knowing that it is part of God's sovereign plan brings a measure of comfort to the Christian.  'God has' according to Thomas Boston, 'by an eternal decree, immovable as mountains of brass (Zech 6 v 1), appointed the whole of everyone's lot, the crooked parts thereof as well as the straight.' God has appointed what we view as dark providence's in our life.  As William Cowper famously wrote: 

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense

But trust him for his grace

Behind a frowning providence 

He hides a smiling face

Trusting in God's providence helps us to see that there is a purpose to suffering:

Sufferings are to try us. To quote Thomas Boston again 'The crook in the lot is the great engine of providence for making men appear in their true colours.'

Sufferings are to expose out sin. John Newton nailed it with his hymn:

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and ev’ry grace,

Might more of His salvation know,

And seek more earnestly His face.

‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,

And He, I trust, has answered prayer,

But it has been in such a way

As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour

At once He’d answer my request

And, by His love’s constraining pow’r,

Subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart

And let the angry pow’rs of hell

Assault my soul in ev’ry part.

Sufferings are to build character.  In Romans 5 v 1-5 Paul says 'we glory in tribulation.'  The word tribulation means 'to press' referring to a wine press.  What does tribulation produce?  'Patient endurance' which in turn produces character.

Sufferings are to bring us closer to God. As Robert Browning Hamilton said:

I walked a mile with Pleasure;

She chatted all the way;

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;

And ne’er a word said she;

But, oh! The things I learned from her,

When Sorrow walked with me.

We all want answers don't we?  I have many questions about the last two years.  Why did the Lord take my other sister while she was in her prime?  Why take people who are so fruitful for the Lord?  Why did my father experience such deep depression after knowing such joy throughout his life?  Perhaps these questions will never be answered but I trust in a God who who is good and who is weaving my life for my good and His glory (James 5 v 11).  These words my dad used towards the end of his booklet have always brought we great comfort.

Not til the loom is silent

And the shutters cease to fly 

Shall God unroll the canvas

And explain the reason why

The dark threads are as needful

In the weavers skilful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern he has planned